


Peer Pressure

by forsimplicityssake



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bromance to Romance, M/M, angst but a happy ending, consider this one possibility, guys this is so late to the episode but idc, i still want buck being the one to find out about eddie's street fighting, these two will be the death of me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 15:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21340714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forsimplicityssake/pseuds/forsimplicityssake
Summary: Everything is wrong. Everything is absolutely wrong and Buck doesn't know how to make it right. He can't talk to anyone. He can't see Eddie. He just wants things to go back to the way they used to be, but how can that happen when it looks like everything is going to change?Or, a late night text screws everything up. A reimagining of 3x05.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 45
Kudos: 490





	Peer Pressure

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of a change to how think 3x05 should’ve gone. I believe that originally, Buck told everyone he’d dropped the lawsuit, hence him going to that rager breaking things place. However, for the sake of this plotline, let’s pretend that everyone doesn't know that yet and sort of cut it off after the grocery store fight. Eddie is still making his terrible choices, however.
> 
> This was done with a little help from James Bay’s song, Peer Pressure.  
(Obviously the title is taken from there, too.)

_put your hands on my body just like you think you know me_  
_want your heart beating on me, don't leave me hot and lonely_  
_i don't usually give in to peer pressure_  
_but i'll give in to yours_

* * *

The fight in the grocery store had been absolutely idiotic and utterly heartbreaking. As Buck sat at his kitchen table staring out at the dark expanse that was Los Angeles in the middle of the night—or was it morning?—he kept replaying Eddie’s words in his head over and over again. The look of betrayal on his face, the defiant way he held himself, the manner in which he jabbed accusingly. It all was completely and thoroughly overwhelming. Buck felt like he was being washed away by the tsunami and crushed under the firetruck all at once and all over again. The pain of the last six months came crashing through his chest and Buck felt like he couldn’t breathe. He was scared, alone, and unsure, which weren’t entirely all new emotions to him, but ones that still made it difficult to keep a coherent thought all the same. 

Buck’s head fell to his chest and he let out a tight breath. Why had this all turned to shit so quickly? One minute he was being welcomed back by his friends—his family—and the next he was in the hospital, being left behind, and fighting with everyone he cared about. All he wanted was to be back with the one-eighteen, no matter the cost. But maybe that was the problem? Not being able to see Christopher when he felt depressed, not being able to talk with Eddie after a long day, not being able to come to Bobby for advice… that surely was a cost too high.

His eyes burned, his fists clenched, and Buck felt like he was going to vomit. He was so mad at himself and the whole situation. He just wanted them back, goddammit!

At that moment, his phone vibrated and Buck’s eyes shot to the device. He hadn’t been in contact with anyone since the lawsuit, but now that he’d dropped it—though no one knew yet—he longed to speak with them. However, he wasn’t sure how he would be received. 

A second vibration sounded and Buck looked to the phone on the table. Two text messages. Through the forming tears, Buck couldn’t exactly make out the sender, but he could see that the messages themselves appeared to be short. Hopefully someone wasn’t yelling at him. Again. With a pinch of courage, Buck leaned over to get a closer look.

**[Eddie 02:15] **Call me 

**[Eddie 02:16] **Please

“...what the hell?” 

Hastily Buck ran a hand over his face, wiping tears from his cheeks. Why the hell would Eddie be texting him of all people? Just ten hours ago, Buck was getting the lashing of his life, viscerally filleted in the front of the grocery store and now his partner—his best friend—was texting him asking him to call.

Buck continued to stare at the phone watching as it vibrated one last time as if to remind the owner that hey, someone’s trying to get ahold of you. The phone screen quietly darkened and Buck was left feeling even more nauseous than he was before.

Then…

**[Eddie 02:17] **Please, Ev

That sealed it for Buck. It wasn’t often that people called him by his first name—or even a variation on it—but when they did, Buck knew it was something important coming from someone he cared about. He picked up the phone, unlocked it, and dialed Eddie’s number, which he might have had memorized at this point. No judgement.

The phone rang once, twice, and then the line picked up.

There was silence for a long beat, an exhale of breath, and then Eddie’s voice was roughly saying, “Can you come get me?”

Buck’s brows furrowed in worry and confusion, but they’d come far too far in their relationship for unnecessary questions. 

“Where are you?” he asked. In a rush of forced, somewhat gasped air, Eddie gave him the address as Buck was halfway out the door.

With whitened knuckles, Buck drove the agonizing twenty minutes to some old car lot where apparently Brad Pitt wannabes were held up in some sort of fight club. Buck was livid. How could Eddie, his calm partner, his best friend, the man who kept him grounded, get himself involved in illegal street fighting? Who the hell was watching Christopher right now? If he ever found out who had tipped Eddie off to this, he was going to ring a few necks.

Coming around the corner, Buck’s car wove through several abandoned vehicles to where some sort of ritualistic Thunderdome was set up. A few large halogen lights were set up around the ring of cars and Buck could make out a crowd of shadows encircling two people. They were clearly fighting, barehanded and without restraint. A large man and an even larger man were swinging wildly at each other. Buck’s eyes widened as the extra-large man’s fist connected with the normal-large man’s face and a spray of blood shot from his mouth. How in the everloving fuck did Eddie get himself into something like this?

Buck felt a bit ashamed in the moment because while his first concern was for Eddie’s overall wellbeing, his second concern might have for Eddie’s handsome face. Buck’s face flushed slightly at the realization.

Just as Buck threw his car into park, a figure from his left advanced towards him. Being that Buck was only dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, he hoped that this mysterious person wasn’t asking for a brawl because he was oh so not ready.

Buck opened the driver side door and stood up. As Buck’s height towered a few inches over the other man’s in a familiar way, he realized with a pained heart that the other figure, which was bent slightly at the waist and walking with a limp, had to be Eddie.

“Eddie…” he murmured so quietly he was sure the other man didn’t hear him. 

However, a pair of weary, hazel eyes slowly rose to meet his. Buck felt the air rush from his lungs and his breath hitched in the process. There was no way that the Eddie before him was the same man that had verbally and emotionally tore him apart earlier today. Eddie from the store was strong and sure and solid. Eddie from now was battered, tired, and defeated. A laceration across his left eyebrow, bloodied knuckles, and a hesitation in his right leg told Buck all he needed to know. Eddie stared him down and through the levels of exhaustion and sadness, Buck could see a fire still burning, daring Buck to challenge or berate him. Buck, having been only licking his wounds an hour ago, understood. That didn’t mean they weren’t going to have a hell of an argument later tonight, though.

Buck held out a hand and half expected Eddie to slap it away. On the contrary, Eddie slipped a bruised hand into his own and Buck wanted to cry in relief. 

He’d always been a man who adored physical touch. If his string of one-off lovers was any indication, it was that he loved love, and not having Eddie’s love in his life, no matter what form in came in, had been like being refused the sun. Buck’s fingers wrapped around Eddie’s and Buck had to stop himself from bringing it to his chest. Instead, Buck slid his hand up Eddie’s forearm to his bicep where he held a firm but gentle grip. Eddie’s body sagged and Buck took his weight, leading him around the car to the passenger side where he held Eddie tenderly against the frame of the vehicle. It did not go unnoticed by Buck how little they were talking to each other; and by ‘how little,’ he meant none. Buck was still amazed that Eddie had contacted him at all considering that Eddie didn’t know the lawsuit had been dropped. As far as he understood, they weren’t supposed to be talking or seeing each other at all. 

Buck figured he wouldn’t bring it up and instead helped Eddie into the passenger seat, careful to watch any bruises that had begun forming across his body. Eddie hissed quietly as he sank into the seat, his knee clearly being a main issue, and Buck muttered a quick and muffled apology. Eddie said nothing in return. 

Buck closed the passenger door and made his way back to the driver’s seat. As he put the keys in the ignition, it occurred to him that he didn’t know whether he was taking Eddie to his house or back to Buck’s apartment. He looked over to Eddie, gauging any sort of reaction, but Eddie was looking straight on. 

Buck’s place it was.

Turning over the ignition, Buck drove out of the makeshift fight club and got back on the main road. The only sound was the passing of wind along the outside of the vehicle and the occasional jangling of the car keys against the side of the steering wheel. 

Maybe it was fortuitous of Eddie to have texted, Buck thought, because sitting only a foot away from a man he was clearly falling for and being unable to speak to him… that was a new level of hell and exactly what Buck felt he deserved. 

He opened his mouth briefly in an attempt to start a conversation, but closed it quickly. Clearly, nothing was going to be said. Just twenty minutes of pure, unadulterated torture. Cool. 

As Buck finally saw his apartment complex, he let out a sigh of relief. He pulled into his parking spot and killed the engine. Together, he and Eddie sat in the most awkward silence they had ever had the pleasure of being in. Buck’s mind was reeling in an attempt to form some sort of coherent thought, some sort of conversation starter. Maybe _ Hey asshole, what’s going on? _ or _ I’ve missed you, you idiot and I’m really sorry this is not what I wanted, I just wanted you. _Yeah, he didn’t think either of those were going to go off well. 

Instead, Buck pulled the keys from the ignition, got out of the car, and walked around to the passenger side. 

Again, he was taken aback by how much Eddie was letting him lead. Buck leaned in—close enough to see the bruise blooming across Eddie’s brow bone, close enough to smell the sweat and cologne, close enough that he could personally trace the line across Eddie’s bottom lip—and held two hands out to Eddie. One went to Eddie’s arm, the other to his waist, and together, they got him out of the car. With patient, tentative steps, Buck led Eddie to the front door where he buzzed in the passcode and helped Eddie across the threshold into the lobby. There, they waited outside the elevator bay and watched the numbers descend down to the ground floor. With a ding, the elevator slid open and the two got inside. Buck leaned his hip into the railing and allowed Eddie to lean into him. Between the cool press of the bar against his body and Eddie’s warmth seeping through the thigh of his pants, Buck felt like he would burst with ecstasy. Eddie had made zero attempts to free himself from Buck’s grip and Buck’s hands still lingered on Eddie’s waist and arm. However, Buck also felt like he was standing on a landmine waiting for the inevitable explosion. There was no way that Eddie wasn’t pissed and, judging by the earlier fight and Eddie’s willingness to get the shit beat out of him, Buck knew that when he finally blew, it wasn’t going to be pretty.

The elevator stopped at his floor and Buck pivoted off the railing taking Eddie with him. Still, their bodies would not be separated. The only time Buck took a hand off Eddie was when he fished in his pocket for his key and unlocked the front door. 

As they made their way inside Buck’s apartment, he sat Eddie down on a chair at the kitchen table. It was pitch black save for the lights of Los Angeles streaming through the open window and Buck turned to flick on a light. At that exact moment, Eddie’s hand—the one not torn to shreds—shot out and grabbed Buck’s arm. Buck’s body was electrified by the touch. Rough fingertips held firmly against his wrist and as Buck searched his friend’s face, Eddie kept his eyes downcast. 

Buck couldn’t take this any longer. 

“Eddie,” he simply drew out, trying his best to keep the concern from edging in. 

Finally, the other man responded. “Wait,” he muttered.

Buck did. 

The two remained as they were; Buck standing, his arm outstretched and Eddie sitting, his hand clasped in a dangerously warm hold. A police siren wailed below and passed plunging them back into silence. Buck counted his breaths in an attempt to slow them. Being here alone, in the dark, with Eddie Diaz was something Buck had unwittingly fantasized about on multiple occasions. He could feel his heart racing and wouldn’t have been surprised if Eddie could hear it too. Eventually, after what seemed like an hour, Eddie gave Buck’s wrist a squeeze and let go, though his fingers lingered deliciously in the process.

Eddie took a breath and Buck steeled himself. Squaring his shoulders, the taller man knew he was about to get a verbal asskicking to rival all asskickings. 

What he did not expect was for Eddie to let out a strangled sob, hang his head, and quietly moan out, “What’s happening to us?” Eddie ran a hand alongside the contour of his jaw before letting it fall to his lap.

Buck felt his heart being torn from his chest and his knees gave out. He scrambled blindly for a chair and silently lowered himself down. He wanted so badly to take Eddie into his arms, but he thought the other man might have more to say.

The lights of the city glittered off the window and chrome accents in the kitchen sprinkling shards of luminescence across Eddie’s features. From the deep umber eyes, stubbled jawline, and full lips, Buck lost his breath at every glance. 

This man who’d originally come to the one-eighteen feeling like a rival had quickly become one of the dearest people in the world to Buck. What started as a competitive acquaintance had blossomed into a friendship, reliance, and eventually to Buck, a love unlike one he’d ever known before. The past few weeks with the lawsuit were fucking torment. Buck had longed on so many occasions to call Eddie, to see Eddie, to touch Eddie. He wanted to see Christopher, to hug the boy and be called, “his Buck.” He wanted them, _ oh god _ did he want them. He wanted to wake up everyday and have Eddie beside him, to take Christopher to the zoo and meet his teachers, to send sappy holiday cards with ridiculous matching outfits. It was clawing at him and killing him that he couldn’t have this. Through his one-night stands and short-lived relationships, Evan Buckley had never been strong enough to stop for a moment and actually stay. Abby had been sort of a fluke, but her leaving was enough to remind him why he didn’t stand still. Now he had a man who wanted in his life, even if it was just platonically. Buck had to remind himself that that could be enough, but he was teetering on the edge of losing everything. It was a dangerous game they had trapped themselves in.

Buck raised an arm towards Eddie and stopped himself short when his friend turned his head. Teardrops dangled precariously on his lashes and Buck wanted so desperately to wipe them away.

“Buck…” Eddie whispered. The sound of his name, said with such helplessness and exhaustion, crushed Buck wholly and completely.

Buck’s hand dropped and he sighed with desperation. “I know.”

Together they sat at the kitchen table, three feet separating them, but feeling like the entire world was keeping them apart. 

Ultimately, Buck knew he had to say this if nothing else. He didn’t want whatever their relationship was to end without Eddie knowing this much. “I… I dropped the lawsuit,” he choked out. Buck’s eyes closed and he almost flinched away physically from whatever reaction Eddie was going to have. Based on the day’s experience, it wasn’t going to be good. 

One heartbeat, then two. Nothing.

When Buck opened his eyes again, he saw Eddie staring incredulously at him as though Buck had just said he was the Queen of Andorra.

“You what?” Eddie gasped. 

Buck’s cheeks flushed with indignation as though Eddie were challenging him. “I dropped the lawsuit,” he repeated with more strength. 

Eddie’s eyes widened impossibly further and Buck could see his shoulders tense. “When?” he demanded. 

Buck shot back, “Today.” He could feel his hackles rising and the fight he’d been anticipating was on the verge of commencing. “Well…” he paused looking towards the microwave clock before continuing, “Yesterday, I guess.” 

Eddie’s fists clenched and unclenched and he hissed in pain at the action. The cuts on the knuckles of his left hand, which had previously scabbed over with dried blood, reopened and fresh blood trickled down his fingers. “So you mean,” Eddie started, “that legally… legally I could’ve talked to you?”

Buck’s eyebrows furrowed and he stopped to consider Eddie’s point. “I, uh... I guess so.” 

“And legally,” the other man continued, “I can now see you?”

Buck nodded numbly, just minutely aware that this time, Eddie didn’t mention Christopher. In the store, Buck had been so sure Eddie was going to say how much he’d missed Buck, but he hadn’t been entirely surprised that Eddie had pivoted to Christopher instead. Buck had a feeling the young boy missed him just as much as Buck missed Christopher. Now though, there was no missing what Eddie was saying. There were no lines to read in between.

“I suppose… sure.” Buck was at a loss for words.

Eddie leaned forward a hair and tilted himself so he was full-on facing Buck. As Eddie rested his elbows on his knees, he idly rubbed a finger over bloodied hands. There was a long pause as if he was considering something of great importance and Buck watched in a mix of fear and nervousness. If Eddie stood up and walked out right now, Buck wouldn’t stop him. If Eddie lunged forward and socked Buck square in the mouth, he would welcome it. If Eddie said he never wanted to speak to Buck again, he would understand.

Another few beats. Tense silence hung heavily around them. Buck continued to watch Eddie, his body tightly wound and ready for action.

“Fuck it,” Eddie muttered.

Buck’s eyebrows shot up in confusion, but he barely had time to register what the actual hell was happening before Eddie Diaz, army veteran, firefighter, and father of one amazing kid, surged forward and kissed Buck fully and soundly.

Buck’s chair skidded back with a little hop, the front legs almost coming up from the floor. Eddie’s hands were on either side of Buck’s face, his thumbs caressing the apples of Buck’s cheeks. Eddie held him there with an easy firmness as though he was afraid Buck might pull back at any second in disgust. He was so tired of pretending around his best friend, so tired of having pain be his only outlet, so goddamn tired in general that he couldn’t bring himself to care enough as to whether or not Buck would reject him. 

Buck, for his own part, was completely shocked… and thrilled? Eddie’s mouth was hot, supple, and full of passion. Buck’s eyes widened immensely as he felt Eddie’s fingertips dance over his face. Heat flooded his cheeks. He couldn’t fucking believe it. Eddie, _ his _Eddie, was pinning him to his kitchen chair in the dark and kissing him for all he was worth. As Eddie’s teeth tugged indecently at Buck’s lower lip and Eddie began to relinquish the hold on Buck’s jaw, Buck realized it was now or never. If he didn’t respond soon, there was a good chance that Eddie would end the kiss and leave and that was the last damn thing Buck wanted to happen.

Just as he predicted, Eddie’s lips downturned and with a panting gasp, he began to pull away. Mouths separated languidly, sticking together slightly from their frenzied work. Eddie gave a gentle squeeze to Buck’s jaw and started to pull back. Buck realized how the emotion in the room jaggedly turned from dark and lustful to dejected and Buck shook his head minutely.

“I don’t think so,” he choked out. He and Eddie were briefly eye-to-eye and Eddie’s brow furrowed, an apology of some kind tripping over his tongue. Just as Eddie opened his mouth, Buck threw his hands out and grasped roughly onto Eddie’s shoulder and neck hauling him in again. This time, Buck’s chair came closer to almost tipping and Buck let out a breathless laugh. Eddie stumbled forward and almost backed out of the kiss, but Buck was there, a hand slipping down Eddie’s arm to his side and waist, holding onto him with fingers that were definitely going to leave bruises. At least, a few fresh bruises. Eddie was gasping, mostly with desire, but a bit from the pain that scorched through his battered body. For a second, Buck considered stopping only because he didn’t want to be the cause of further discomfort. However, as Eddie greedily pulled at the top of Buck’s arms and back with blunt nails, Buck’s rationale sort of fucked right off. 

Buck spread his knees as he pulled Eddie in between them. The sensation of his thighs rubbing alongside Eddie’s was so mindblowingly errotic. Sure, touches had been exchanged over the many months they worked together—it was just one part of their job after all—but there was something specifically about this moment that had Buck feeling like he’d just been punched in the low of his abdomen. A heat so violently strong and almost foreign to Buck pooled heavily in him. 

Buck’s lips worked over Eddie’s mouth and Eddie almost felt himself crying from sheer joy. In bewteen kisses, Buck was murmuring the sweetest words Eddie had heard in a long time: “Fucking finally.”

There were so many points during which Eddie felt like he wanted to explain, to apologize, to rationalize, but it seemed that once Buck had started something, like most things in his life, he wasn’t going to stop until it was done. Or in this case, until Eddie was done. 

With strong, large hands, Buck gripped at Eddie’s hips and ass, hauling him onto his lap. The most indignant, arousing sound bubbled up from Eddie’s chest and ended in a moan. Firm thighs straddled Buck’s hips and Buck’s mind reeled in total nirvana. 

As much as Eddie could feel himself being pulled under a haze of lust, his knee, the one that wasn’t in the best shape, burned with a strain of protest at the action.

“Fuck... Buck,” he whimpered. His teeth bit none-too-gently along Buck’s cheek as his head reared back.

Buck, realizing exactly what he was doing, paused in his rushed ministrations and pulled away. 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” Buck took in Eddie’s dilated eyes, blown so wide that they were almost black, hardly a hint of hazel left.

Eddie shook his head, staring down at Buck as if he was the most important thing in the world and honestly, aside from his son, he was. Warmth flooded through Eddie and he temporarily forgot why they had been fighting in the first place; why Eddie had been fighting his family and complete strangers. They sat together, chests heaving as they each worked to catch their breath. Eddie was sitting high on Buck’s thighs, his legs squeezing gently to keep his balance. They were flushed together with Eddie’s hands propped on Buck’s shoulders, Buck’s hands still roving across the taunt muscles of Eddie’s lower back. They watched each other warily for a second, gauging to see who was going to make the first move. 

Eddie, so sure that Buck was still confused and would at any second toss his partner off of him, braced for impact. Buck, so sure that Eddie was just fucking with him, was ready to stand up at a moment’s notice. Instead, they continued to take each other in. 

Eddie’s eyes darted over Buck’s face. His cheeks were hot, dusted with a vibrant pink and his mouth, oh god his mouth, was kiss-bruised and begging for attention. 

Buck stared in awe at Eddie’s eyes, so full of love and simultaneous worry. Eddie’s own lips were full and ravaged, parted to suck in gasps of air. Buck swore in that moment that he’d never been so attracted to a single other person in his life. 

Traffic continued to pass below; car horns honking, people laughing, and still neither of the men upstairs moved. Their breathing had slowed, but their hearts were still racing. Finally, just as Eddie adjusted his hips to stand, Buck slid a hand up Eddie’s spine, across his bicep, and traced it down his forearm eliciting a beautiful sound from the other man. Buck’s touch was soft, softer than minutes before, and Eddie just watched with a slack jaw at his fingers as they danced along the small beauty marks, scars, and bruises that were painted on Eddie’s skin. Finally, Buck gently grabbed onto Eddie’s own hand and brought the reddened, bloodied knuckles up towards his mouth. While never breaking eye contact, Buck lowered his mouth and placed the singlehandedly most evocative kiss Eddie had ever been blessed with to the back of his hand. Buck then rotated Eddie’s wrist and laid a second, tender kiss on his pulse point, content to watch Eddie’s face flush further. 

Eddie could hardly stand it. What the fuck was going on? When he’d had his ass thoroughly kicked and ended up needing to text Buck out of desperation, this was _ not _how he had expected his night to go.

“Quierdo…” Eddie murmured, eyelids heavy, gaze out of focus.

Buck watched with fascination as Eddie attempted to say something further, but found that was one hundred percent incapable of speech. Buck let out a deep chuckle, his chest rumbling. Eddie shivered at the sensation, though his body was hot all over. His nerves vibrated wildly, each touch over his skin amplified to the utmost extent. It was as if Eddie had been flayed and laid bare before this man and every brush of a finger and wisp of breath was killing him.

Eddie groaned and closed his eyes tightly. This had all escalated so quickly leaving Eddie free falling into something he was certainly not prepared for.

As Buck traced more lines across Eddie, the other man could see concern brewing. Eddie knew what Buck must have been thinking; shit, he could practically hear his brain working everything out. He was a fool for pretending he could hide the results of his street fighting from someone who knew him so intimately. 

“Please,” Eddie breathed, “later.”

Buck knew what he meant, but damn, he wanted to know what was going on. He wanted to pull Eddie from whatever dark corner he had fallen into because he felt personally responsible. His dumbass lawsuit had caused the man dearest to him to run and find comfort in agony. It had done everything Buck hadn’t wanted to have happen. Buck didn’t want this, he didn’t fucking want any of this. Instead of demanding an answer, which he knew would only lead to further argument and dissolve whatever spell they’d found themselves under, Buck locked gazes with Eddie and swallowed thickly. 

“Later.” It was a promise.

Eddie cracked a gentle smile which looked so strange on such a damaged face, but it was so heartbreakingly familiar and full of love that Buck couldn’t help himself and he leaned in, this time with a touch of grace, and caressed Eddie’s mouth taking care around the deep purple bruises that continued to form. Their mouths worked together in the most beautiful way; it felt like they had been doing this forever and Buck wanted to kick himself when he realized they could’ve at least been doing this for longer than just tonight. He didn’t want to hesitate anymore when it came to Eddie and Christopher. He didn’t want to be unsure, never knowing where he stood with his partner. He didn’t want the uncertainty. He wanted to jump in with both feet, damn the consequences. 

Warmth was building in Buck’s chest again and it wasn’t long before his hands were roaming freely over Eddie’s battered body. As his fingers dug into Eddie’s ribs and the other man hissed painfully, Buck’s hands jumped back. He didn’t want to cause more pain even though it was killing him to not be able to fully touch Eddie.

“No,” Eddie bit out and he grabbed at Buck’s hands before firmly pushing them back onto his body. “Touch me,” he murmured. “_Please_.” God, this was the hottest experience Buck had had since he’d fucked that lady in the firetruck several years ago, but this was so much more than a simple sexual encounter. He hadn’t really cared about that woman; hell, he couldn’t remember her name. This man though, right here and right now, Buck would give his life for this man. 

Buck toyed with the hem of Eddie’s t-shirt and felt the burning sliver of skin just above the waist of his jeans. As that pads of his fingers slid atop of the waistband, Eddie’s hips rocked and his abdominal muscles contracted. Buck hummed happily, pulling the most wanton sounds from Eddie’s mouth. Eddie almost had the decency to look embarrassed, but as Buck pulled back for air, he found a smirk in his wake.

“You’re enjoying yourself way too much,” Buck murmured and Eddie could only laugh.

Buck’s hands continued their exploration underneath Eddie’s tee and the pure heat that radiated from Eddie’s body was practically sinful. Soft, taunt skin sat over sharp muscles and to Buck, it was such an otherworldly experience to be touching another man. Though there had been an occasional romp after high school with boys, it had been a long time since he’d had a man and fuck, if Eddie wasn’t one hundred percent man. Buck had been used to slim figures and gentle curves. Eddie was entirely made up of sharp lines and hard plains. Not that he was complaining one bit! 

Still perched on Buck’s lap, Eddie slowly rolled his hips and watched with fascination as Buck’s lips popped open. For Eddie, being with a man was still new. He’d been with Shannon for so damn long, and hadn’t dated a single person during or after, that he was surprised that his body still knew what to do. Maybe it was because of the familiarity he had with Buck that allowed his limbs to go on autopilot. 

Eddie’s hands ghosted over Buck’s arms and down to his sides where he fingered at the edge of Buck’s own shirt. However, unlike Buck, Eddie wasn’t playing coy and within a few moments, he was working it up Buck’s body. The act caught Buck off guard and he suddenly found himself releasing his hold on Eddie to raise his arms. As one sleeve caught itself in the angle of Buck’s elbow, he let out an honest-to-god giggle and twisted his shoulders around until he was free from the garment. Eddie looked down in awe at Buck’s bare chest. It wasn’t anything necessarily new—they had changed in front of each other both on and off the clock on several occasions—but in the quiet of Buck’s apartment and the low lighting of the cityscape, it was incredibly sexy. Pale skin was exposed before him and Eddie had to take a breath to steady himself. 

He could feel the arousal coursing through Buck and as Eddie slipped his fingers delicately over the curve of Buck’s clavicle, Buck’s hips jumped. Eddie was intrigued by Buck’s tattoos, having never really looked at them and as he leaned back a few inches to take them in, his hands involuntarily went to tracing each line. Buck looked on with a held breath, goosebumps rising across his flesh at the featherlight sensation. Eddie grinned as Buck’s eye slipped out of focus and he tipped his head backwards allowing Eddie more access to his throat, which Eddie happily attended to, his mouth eagerly working along expanse of skin. With a languid tongue, Eddie traced his way up the column of Buck’s throat, pausing here and there to suck and bite. Buck felt like he would explode at any moment and he didn’t want it to be over so quickly. 

His head snapping forward and nearly colliding with Eddie’s, Buck almost glared. “That’s enough of that,” Buck hissed, and all to quickly he had Eddie’s arms above his head, the shirt being torn from his body. Air was knocked out of Eddie’s lungs and he couldn't lie, he was incredibly turned on by a domineering partner, especially this one. 

The flimsy shirt, which Buck always thought Eddie bought one size too small on purpose, was thrown aside and Buck was finally able to take all of Eddie in, greedily letting his eyes stop wherever they wanted. A flush blossomed across Eddie’s chest and crawled up to his cheeks. Under Buck’s loving gaze, Eddie couldn’t tear himself away from those gorgeous blue eyes.

Then Buck was scooting himself forward in the chair just enough so that he could tip Eddie’s body away from him, hands holding him up at the low of his back, Buck’s own wanting mouth mirror Eddie’s previous actions as they found a delicate spot just above his adam’s apple. Eddie groaned and let his head fall to the side, his own hands fluttering about across Buck’s shoulders and back.

Fuck, they were making out like two horny teenagers and as their hips sought each other out, Eddie’s mind was going completely blank in the most wonderful way.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours, each taking turns to map out new skin and old scars. Belts were unbuckled, pants forgotten, and eventually Buck hoisted Eddie up for a brief moment just before he lowered him onto the couch. Taking care, Buck gently leaned over Eddie, kissing each bruise and cut he found in his wake, taking extra care around Eddie’s hips and sides. Then Buck was snaking upward to lay himself over Eddie. Their bodies, now fully unclothed and strung to their limits, laid together absolutely flush, not a single unnecessary inch of space in between them.

All the frustration and rage that had been building in Eddie over the weeks following the lawsuit were melting away. It was like Buck was the ultimate stress reliever and Eddie wanted to kick himself for not coming to this conclusion sooner. This man was so clearly in love with him, just as he was, and he’d almost fucked everything up. He wanted to cry and scream, but as Buck boxed him in with the warm weight of his body, Eddie found that the forming tears weren’t ones of anger, but of unbridled, unadulterated happiness. 

Buck raised a hand gingerly to Eddie’s face and wiped the few tearmarks that had appeared on his cheeks following his hand quickly with his mouth. He worked to kiss away any lingering trace of sadness in Eddie. 

The sun was beginning to rise over Los Angeles and as light began to slowly flood into Buck’s apartment and he took Eddie completely for the first time, Buck swore he had never been happier, more comfortable and loved, in his entire life. Seeing the man below him writhing in pure ecstasy, hearing his name whispered over and over like a prayer, Buck was filled completely with Eddie. Every thought, every sound, every touch was Eddie. The older man’s hands were pulling at his back, his shoulders, his ass, wanting to get as close as humanly possible to him. Together their hips rocked in an even, almost gentle rhythm. There was no rush and Buck wanted Eddie to feel so good. Eddie arched his back and Buck placed sweet kisses along his chest and abdomen, content to watch Eddie slowly come undone.

Buck could barely believe that their relationship had transformed the way it had over the last twelve hours. Every muscle in his body was screaming for release and when he finally came, it was with Eddie’s name rushing from his lips.

Buck collapsed, trying his best to keep his weight off of Eddie’s body. Eddie was still coming down from his orgasm as he carded his hands through Buck’s hair. They laid together, content to listen to each other breathe, Buck so happy just to hear Eddie’s heartbeat. Finally, Buck turned himself on the couch so that he could scoop Eddie closer while alleviating some of the pain. He pressed his lips along Eddie’s shoulders and arms with featherlight touches, upset to see the bruises more clearly in the morning’s light. As if Eddie could hear Buck’s thoughts, he sighed.

“I know.”

“Eddie, why?”

“Please Evan,” Eddie breathed.

Buck understood in a way. He wanted to rip into Eddie; wanted to scold and hold him and guard him in his apartment so Buck would know Eddie was never going back to that place ever again. However, he also knew Eddie, or at least, he hoped he did. They were so much alike and if Buck went off on Eddie while he was this vulnerable, it might be the last time they ever got to do this. Buck took a steadying breath and glanced at Eddie who was looking like he was moments away from bolting. Instead of yelling like every ounce of his body wanted to, Buck swallowed and offered Eddie a gentle smile.

“Okay,” he replied, “for now.”

Eddie let out a breath and returned Buck’s smile lazily.

They still had a long way to go before either of them would be back where they belonged, but this was a good start. Buck reached around and pulled a blanket from the back of the couch over and tucked Eddie gingerly into it. He would still get up later and gather his first aid kit, but he wanted Eddie to rest, to properly sleep for what seemed like the first time in a long time. Placing a kiss to Eddie's temple, he nuzzled his nose behind Eddie's ear. 

Eddie was warm, exhausted, in pain, and completely full of love. He turned his head slightly to catch Buck as his eyes fluttered shut and he let out a soft breath that tickled along Eddie's throat. Everything was so fucked up, but understanding that Buck had dropped the lawsuit and then thoroughly made love to Eddie, the other man realized that things could still be fixed. He didn't want this fight to continue on unchecked and now that he had Christopher _and _Buck, he couldn't mess up anything further. He didn't pray often after Shannon's death, but he knew this was his sign. This was the kick in the ass he needed and as he sent his eyes momentarily upward, he whispered a few quick words. As he felt his eyes grow heavy, Eddie pulled Buck closer. He was in it now.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, here's my first piece to this fandom and damn if I'm not obsessed and in it to win it. This is unbeta'd so please shout out any errors. Thanks loves xx


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